^mY sToRy^

Being somebody means to be yourself::Life is much more complicated than that but I try hard to fulfill my own destiny::In the end, whatever happens "Life must go on"

Sunday, March 27, 2005

^::mOm SaYs::^

Say of him what you like


But I know my child's failings


I do not love him because he is good


But because he is my child


How can you know how sweet he is


When all you do is measure the good and the bad


When I must punish him


He becomes even more a part of me


When I make him weep, I weep with him


I alone have a right to judge him


For only he who loves may chastise



Aku dapat sajak nih dalam citer Sepet (yup! everyone is talking about this movie nowadays!)..I really like sajak nih coz in certain ways I got to know what my mom's thought... Seriously, biler kiter kena marah ngan mak kan, kiter selalu cakap mak tak sayang kat kiter (or even worse, aku pernah igt aku anak angkat jer!hahahaha)So biler aku try faham maksud sebenar sajak nih, bole la faham sikit what your mom's thinking on daily basis( I guess so!)

Maybe kiter anggap remeh jer ngan sajak tuh, tapi kalo korang bole relatekan ngan life masing2, I believe that at certain part sajak tuh mesti ade kena mengena ngan kiter gak...Aku bukan la pakar sgt pasal sajak2 nih, tapi I have my own definition la kan..Citer Sepet tuh kan most of the part aku rasa mcm family matters jer...Different background of two families but both moms love their kid truly..They always think about the best in their child's life...

Bukan maksud nya sumer benda yg mak kiter suruh are good for us...That's why compromise is important..Certain time mak kiter betul and certain time mayb kiter betul kan?Tapi yang penting kiter tak melukakan hati mak kiter too much(aku dah berapa kali dah ek?adui la!)In the end, syurga di bawah telapak kaki ibu... Cuba check balik sajak tuh, ader part tuh kan shows how our moms' feeling when people say somethiing bad about us....Very deep meaning la sajak tuh..Enjoy ek?Nak komen pun bole.... Aku malas la nak review citer Sepet tuh sbb sumer org buat benda sama,buhsan lak nnt!Tapi overall citer tuh memang best..Every word, every scene can be related to us...Nicely done Yasmin Ahmad! Keep up the good work! kepada sesaper yg tak tgk lagi, cepat gi tgk! Rugi woi!

::hUg aNd KiSsEs::

Saturday, March 12, 2005

::bEiNg BoSsY?!::

Pernah tak korang rasa yg tiba2 sumer org ckp korang nih mcm 'control freak'? Atau by using a more general word nyer:: BOSSY?... aku dh banyak kali la jugak dapat ayat2 power yg boleh aku konklusikan mencop aku sbg bossy...Dari kawan sendiri pun ader..."Aku tak perlu kan kongkongan kau"..Tu one of ayat yg aku pernah kena la kan....
Aku tak tau la nk kategorikan being bossy nih mcm maner...Sebab apa yg aku buat selama nih pun aku rasa based on logical reason behind them...meaning, everytime aku nak execute benda tuh('order' la basically), aku fikir consequence die dulu..
Contoh la kan...katakan korang and kawan2 korang decide nk pegi makan(tak kisah la lunch or dinner)..and biler tanya sorang2 nak makan kat maner, nobody answer...sumer akan cakap "tak tau"...so biler one person step up and cakap " jom makan kat situ", ader gak sesetengah org berfikiran "he/she try to lead us somewhere and I don't like it!"...ye la kan, kalo dah setiap kali nk gi makan asyik ckp tak tau, better somebody decide kan utk sumer.... biler benda nih dah selalu sgt kan, nnt at one point ader gak ckp2 belakang " giler bossy, asyik nk ikut taste die jer"...
Mungkin tak sumer org faham, konsep making decision nih...sebab biler sumer dah besar kan, we like to think that, this is the time yang sumer decision adalah atas nama aku sendiri....tak payah nak rujuk sesaper...bagi aku, at certain event you do need consultant from others, tak kisah la kawan,parents or sesaper jer...Dewasa bukan la lesen utk kiter buat suka ati jer...receiving advice from others bukan maksud kena ikut exactly benda tuh...at least kiter ader second opinion pasal sesuatu kan?In the end, you have to decide what's best for you based on all these feedbacks, and you have to take responsibility of that act.... tapi sesetengah org, they assume biler kiter nasihat sikit, dieorg react mcm kiter try tutup peluang dieorg utk decide.... to certain extend, memang ketara benda tuh salah, and kiter ckp terus terang, still this few bunch of people nak buat and mula lah keluar perkataan bossy kat org2 yg bagi nasihat...duhh~~~
Bagi aku la kan(my own opinion), bossy adalah untuk org yg TOTALLY control freak...contoh mcm, kalo ko tak ikut sumer yang die cakap, die marah and tak nak cakap or kawan ngan korang lagi.... But on the other hand, bagi certain people yang ader rasa sense of responsibility toward something or other people, aku tak consider tuh as bossy...Tu lebih kepada being a good friend or mayb trying to be someone who's trying to help and care...tapi ader gak la yg melampau kan...sumer benda nak kena tanya pendapat die dulu.... but again kalo korang anggap org tuh as somebody close and you rely on, aper salah nyer die give judgement for what you do and will do kan?
Actually kena ada give and take la...saling mengingati la..bukan bermaksud biler org cakap "jgn buat", kiter dah fikir org tuh mengongkong kebebasan pulak!Sumer org ader otak untuk fikir apa yang baik dan buruk...kalo ko nak buat buruk, and ko tak nak org judge or bagi advice, jgn tunjuk...sembunyi2(tak der lah ko rasa marah biler org pass their judgement nanti kan?)Everyone should have a bit sense of responsibility...kalo ader kerja contohnya, jgn harap tunggu sorang nak initiate baru nak mula...lepas tuh biler org yg initiate tuh try nak build up or deligate work among the group,mula lah nanti ader yg sound "being bossy and arah2 orang buat kerja"...kalo ko tak nak org bossing you around, why don't you step up and do it instead(ayat nih apply utk sumer cases I guess!)
Life nih skang dah much complicated...kalo ko tak step forward orang lanyak ko mcm tuh jer(especially in working world)...so ader certain time ko kena apply leadership quality sket(bossy ek?)..Arah la apa yg patut diarah, tunjuk la apa yang patut ditunjuk...Sumer org kan khalifah(ketua) untuk diri sendiri...So sepatutnya tak wujud perkataan bossy sebab kalo nak dikira based on kewujudan kiter as khalifah kat dunia nih, then sumer orang sepatutnya jadi bossy la kan?(betul ek?ke aku dh merepek?)...hehehe just dropping by to share something la... sama2 lah kiter muhasabah diri ek?

::Cau Cin Cau::

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

::pErJaLaNaN 1::


Hati tuli,
Suram bertaut noda,
Kancah kelam itu aku selusuri,
Cari nikmat,cari indah,
Logamaya membutakan naluri,
Rasional pincang lagi

Bergentayangan,
Mimpi-mimpi berselang seli,
Kaca,permata minta ditafsir,
Nilai harga minta dibanding,
Tersentak,
Lalu terbungkam dalam alam hitam

Detik itu,
Jiwa mengarah keampunan,
Bayang dosa aku hindarkan,
Dalam bisik,rintihan restu ditadah,
Selusur cahaya menanti,
Menjemput aku berjalan kembali,
Mungkin pulang,
Atau cuma menumpang,
Untuk seketika lagi

Aku sedar,
Leka dan lalai masih bernyawa,
Walau sesal aku titip,
Biar takut aku redah,
Kekuatan belum milikku sepenuhnya,
Samar nista melambai,
Namun hati tetap tabah,
Yakin akan tiba saat,
Menjelangnya hijrah abadi.....

p/s: Something I wrote before

Thursday, March 03, 2005

~::aGaIn?::~

ayo!

korang nk tau satu citer?siut la segolongan org kt UTP nih.....grup tarian aku sbnrnya dah dijemput utk menari but then....because of this "sinless" group,kiterorg tak jadi pulak...
aku tak ralat pun tak perform..cuma aku dh muak sbb benda yg sama asyik berulang jer.....

aku pun tak faham persepsi dieorg...dieorg kata tak nak laki ngan pompuan sekali menari atas pentas...WTF!kiterorg menari jer..bukan nyer f**k kat atas pentas tuh! bangang tul la....kiterorg menari tak pernah pun bersentuh dgn budak pompuan apatah lagi bersentubuhan!

dieorg tak nak laki ngan pompuan campur2..tapi buat charity dinner bercampur jugak laki pompuan dalam hall tuh...entah2 duduk satu meja yg sama lagi......kalo dh rasa bagus and alim sgt buat la asing2...yg laki2 buat dinner kat satu tempat and yg pompuan buat satu tempat lain..jgn campur2!ni fikir sempit jer.....nampak benda yg depan mata jer..dieorg sendiri buat tak sedar!

dieorg ni tak tau asal usul tarian zapin tuh...dah asal nyer dr Arab kompem la tak bersentuh..siap digalakkan pakai tudung lagi....tu la aku cakpa td...fikiran sempit sgt!

satu lagi yg aku hangin tuh...tak berani nak suara depan2..kalo rasa ko betul sgt,jumper and cakap depan2...ni tak pegi antar AJK yg tak tau aper2....nampak sgt penakut!sebab aku tau kalo jumper die mesti tak leh defend diri sendiri....fikir cetek sgt!dah la kiterorg perform tak mintak bayar....these kind of people are just plain idiot!

aku pun malas nak fikir jauh2 dah pun..bukan event aku yg rosak..plus tak yah la aku nk turun belatih tiap2 malam....last thing aku nak advise grup nih, lain kali nk buat event,ko buat sendiri2 tak yah jemput sesaper..ko nk buat dinner beli nasik bungkus and perform nasyid sendiri jer...lapas ko kenyang makan nasik bungkus tuh,ko bernasyid sampai pagi...tak yah nak susah2kan org lain...or better,jgn buat langsung...sumer nyer lagha semata kan?duduk diam2 dalam bilik..tak ler ko terpalit noda dan dosa ek?

calos!

::hOt aNd PuNcHeS::

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

::hEcTic::

elo!
it's been a while jugak aku tak tulis aper2 dlm blog aku nih...bukan aper...hectic(seperti dlm title post nih) sket life aku skang nih....seyes!penat!
sem ni bz coz applying places for internship next sem...igtkan tak ler byk kerja,tp kerja die mcm nak cari steady job jer!huhuhuu..skang nih tgh tunggu answer from companies la....doa2kan lah yek....
aku apply sarawak jer utk internship aku.....ye lah...sem depan kan waktu raya..so aku nk balik raya..hahahahahah....tapi ader jugak le aku mintak kt semenanjung ni ha....just to keep the option open la kan?aku betul2 berharap dpt tempat kat MLNG bintulu nun!...so if evrything goes fine...satu sem la aku duduk swak nanti(padahal aku memang duduk swak pun selama nih!grin!)
oooo..luper lak..aku kan citer pasal hectic life aku td kan?bukan setakat pasal internship tuh, aku involve lagi tarian sem nih...Sabtu lepas baru jer habis show International Charity Nite(bunyi mcm grand-->buat kt UTP jer sbnrnya)...seminggu la jugak keluar masuk Chansellor Hall tuh dek sebab rehearsal memanjang....in the end puas hati la jugak coz everything goes smooth!
aku cakap2 gak ngan kawan2 aku kt sini kononnyer nk berenti sem nih,tapi sukar bangat sih!kang aku pegi internship satu sem tak leh menari(unless company tuh suh aku buat grup tarian lak!grin!)sangap la aku nanti! so igt2 nyer sekembali aku nanti, aku mau join lagi neh!hahahaha...tu tgk keadaan jugak la..in case bebanan education kt UTP nih tiba2 menjadi2 ker kan?....
bukan setakat tuh, korang tau next week aku ader 3 test menunggu utk dikerjakan...tu tak tambah lagi assignment and projek and lab report..adoi!but terpaksa tanggung la jugak..You chose your own path...stick and get through with it la kan?...body and mind aku penat la jugak tapi rasa mcm dah biasa la....dari first sem lagi bz..kalo tak menari,teater....
so to my frens kt maner2 tuh,doa2kan la kesihatan aku ni ha....hahahah..jgn pelik lak kalo aku tak antar apa2 berita(dh namanya hectic kan?)....
ooooo,btw, malaysian idol season 2 nk start kan?jgn luper vote aku ek?keskeskes....
see ya around!
::HuG & KiSsEs::